Author: Daivajani Thiruchchelvam

  • Boost Your Wellbeing with Daily Self Care

    Self care has become the biggest priority for me in this phase of my 20s.

    Why?

    In this digital age, it’s easy to be swept up in the cycle of our daily lives and forget to prioritise our wellbeing. If you want to find out about why it has become such an important part of my life and how you can incorporate it into your daily schedule, read on.

    What is Self Care?

    Before I explain my views on this subject, I want to shed some light on what this topic entails. There is no rigid definition to this, instead it very much differs from individual to individual. For me, the act of self care is to spend time to recharge, reflect and nurture oneself. Any activity that you think could fit into these buckets is what could be considered as self care to you. For me this is watching a movie, reading a good book, listening to podcasts, exercising regularly and getting a good night’s sleep. I may not have the time to do all these activities every day (except for striving to get 8 hours of sleep) but I try my best to carve time out of my busy schedule to ensure I do at least one of these once a day. On a good day I may spend time doing 2 or more of these, but what you’ll soon notice is that is dependent on how much spare time you have. Or that is what you are led to believe…

    Why is Self Care important?

    It is true to say that most of us in this day and age are working extremely hard towards our goals. In this process, we often neglect our own well being and forget that we need to rest mentally and physically. This will ensure that we are ready to give our utmost best for any challenge we may face whilst also giving us a chance to reset.

    Reflection is a great skill to develop and one of the best ways to put this into practice is to start journalling. Take 10 minutes out of your day to reflect on your achievements, challenges, improvements. Before I had done this exercise myself, I would often reach the end of the day and it would be one big blur. However, if you’re able to regularly practice self reflection, you will (more) easily be able to pinpoint wins and draw out problems. This in conjunction with other self care activities allows us to reconnect and focus on our priorities.

    So why should you listen to me and many others who preach about Self Care?

    Self care has numerous benefits and I’ll try not to bore you with them all. Personally, I have noticed that I’m in a significantly better mood when I’m intentionally practicing this on a regular basis. This not only benefits me as I’m more receptive and better engaged but also those around me. You may unknowingly affect someone else in a positive way and cause a ripple effect that fosters kindness and deeper relationships.

    Another significant change I have noticed is a boost in self esteem, directly linked to more regular exercise. Initially this felt more like a chore and I felt like I could better spend that time watching another movie or reading a book. After a month, I noticed an uplift in my mood and I felt physically better. Another month passed and I started to see some changes, including people around me. This is not to say that we need external validation to feel good about ourselves, but I felt more confident and wore clothes that I previously would’ve thought twice about. I have never looked back since and to be completely honest, I can’t sit here and say that I workout 7x a week but it is definitely much better than 0 and I’m continuing to reap the benefits.

    How can I practice Self Care?

    The most common reason you will find amongst people who do not practice self care is the lack of time. In truth you do not have to spend hours on these activities, it is actually more effective to practice them in smaller amounts more frequently. So this is something you could realistically incorporate into your daily schedule. Here are some self care ideas split into four categories:

    (🌱- My favourite)

    Physical

    • Exercise 🌱
    • Walk 🌱
    • Dance 🌱
    • Yoga
    • Prioritise sleep 🌱
    • Take a nap
    • Take a warm bath 🌱
    • Get a massage

    Mental & Spiritual

    • Meditate
    • Mindfulness exercises 🌱
    • Pray 🌱
    • Digital detox
    • Listen to podcasts 🌱

    Creative

    • Paint/Draw 🌱
    • Knit
    • Pottery
    • Scrapbook
    • Listen to music 🌱
    • Bake/Cook 🌱
    • Decorate room

    This is not an exhaustive list and I want to give a special shout out to my favourite form of self care: TRAVEL. This is the number one activity that not only recharges me but allows me to reconnect and self reflect the most. I’m sure for some of you reading, this will also be the top of your list.

    Hope this post helped you better understand why self care should be a vital practice in this digital age. I’m interested to know what self care activities you do that was not covered in the list above.

    Challenge: Let’s all pick 2 activities from the above list and practice this for every day of October. Share your thoughts on how you faired on this challenge!

    Love, D

  • The Power of Introverts in Social Interactions

    “Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.” 

    Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking

    This post is inspired by a book I recently read called “Quiet” by Susan Cain. I’m sure most of you have read or have at least heard of this book. If not please add it to your reading list right now. In the book, Cain highlights how the introverts of this world are undervalued and in fact have more to offer than they are given credit for. More importantly she provides examples and evidence of the power and influence introverts have in our society, much of which has not been talked about in as much detail as now.

    My personal interest and attraction to the book is because at my core, I am an introvert myself. But before I dive into my personal experiences and thoughts behind being an introvert, I want to clarify that I don’t see a clear divide between an introvert and extrovert. Rather I see it as a spectrum of “introvertedness” to “extrovertedness”. What this means is that I don’t believe any person is just an introvert or just an extrovert. Although they may display more characteristics of one over the other, I believe they still have traits of the other or there may be situations where they tend to be more introverted or extroverted. This may confuse you as conventionally when asked the question, most people answer with “I am an introvert” or “I am an extrovert.” Or maybe you similarly think there is a blurred line between the two, in which case we are in the same boat. Let me explain further.

    The best way to explain is in the context of the workplace where for me, the needle between introversion and extroversion fluctuates regularly. Quite recently, I was invited to a networking event which was also open to individuals outside our company. The event was supposed to run from 5 to 7 but I had planned to stay until 6 which would give me enough time to talk to a few people. I had asked a work friend to accompany me as I needed a familiar face amongst the crowd of new faces. At first, I felt confident about approaching groups of people and joining the conversation but after the third or fourth group, I was getting quieter and quieter until my engagement in the conversation reduced to just nodding at appropriate gaps. Once I had felt that I was no longer socialising and was standing around, I knew it was my cue to leave. The time was 5:30.

    If you are a fellow introvert you would understand why my evening played out this way but for the more extroverted readers let’s dissect the above.

    • Attending the event. There is a common misconception that most introverts are antisocial and will avoid any social situations given the chance, especially if this includes meeting new people. This is not the case for me, in fact I enjoy these interactions from time to time.
    • Bringing a coworker along. I was more inclined to attend as she had agreed to come along. She is also more extroverted than me and is able to initiate conversations easier in these situations. This removed some of the pressure and allowed me to focus on engaging in the conversation better.
    • Planning the evening. Introverts generally tend to be more organised and so I allocated an hour to spend socialising and networking. I did leave the event earlier than planned but this is not a bad thing as 30 minutes of networking is better than 0.

    So after reading this you may be questioning my “introvertedness” as for some introverts this could be their worst nightmare. Let me be clear, I was not always this willing to socialise. When I was younger, I was way more of an introvert to the point where I avoided any situation that would put me in the centre of attention. Looking back, I realised that I actually had a severe bout of social anxiety which I was able to overcome as I grew up, becoming more confident in myself. I no longer have severe social anxiety but I am aware that I have a smaller social battery than others which is why I classify myself as an introvert, most of the time.

    It may sound like a lot of work being an introvert, always thinking ahead and being conscious of yourself in social situations. But I want to clarify that these are not negatives, in fact it makes us more prepared and ready to face any situation. In the past when I would’ve questioned my “introvertedness”, I have grown up to embrace this quality and have realised I prefer being this way. As a collective we are unique; we can gauge conversations and individuals better because we observe more, we are highly self-sufficient, we are great at introspection and being self-aware. These are just some of the benefits of being an introvert, there are so much more.

    If you are a fellow introvert, I hope you are able to relate to the contents of this post and it reiterates your unique skillsets which you can and should put to use. If you are a extrovert, I hope this post allows you to better understand what goes through the mind of an introvert. I would love to hear your thoughts on the post and if you have your own ways of navigating your life as introvert or extrovert, please comment them below.

    Love, D

  • Welcome Aboard: Pilot

    Photo by Vitor Almeida on Pexels.com

    Welcome!

    I am grateful for you taking time out of your day to read this: my very first blog post. Now you may be curious as to why this is called a pilot and that is purely because this is written by a drama fanatic. If you are too then you would know that most dramas name their very first episode as “pilot”. Although this is true, it is not the entire reason. I debated over this for days if not weeks as nothing I could think of felt impactful enough.

    So why pilot?

    Pilots are entrusted to safely transport passengers from point A to point B. The departure and arrival may be turbulent but most of the journey will be smooth, or at least we hope it to be. But our day to day reality is far from this, in fact I’m sure most people reading this will have experienced many rough patches and may even be going through one right now. And much unlike pilots who have extensive experience under their hat and could probably fly these planes with their eyes closed, we are like trainee pilots who should be sitting behind simulators and learning how to control the plane first before even thinking of liftoff. But we are in the pilot’s seat and some of you might be quick learners and confident in your abilities but I would like to say the majority are blindly hoping we don’t crash and burn somewhere along the way. So think of this blog as anything you need it to be: a motivator when you’re feeling adrift, a relatable friend when you’re feeling alone or just a quick escape from the casual chaos of life. This will be a safe environment where all opinions will be respected and like my pilot analogy, take this blog as an emotional journey where we embark together and help one other on the way to our very own destinations. So please fasten your seatbelts and hope you enjoy your flight!

    D